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Whether it seems like it or not, this is bullying. I know that it must be hard to think that your best friend is bullying you, but sometimes it happens. Talk to her and tell her how you feel. Ask if there’s something else going on in her life that is causing her negative attitude toward you. She could be struggling with her home life or changes with her body, and you just might be able to be a shoulder for her to lean on.
-Sophia, age 9, New Jersey My best friend started doing that to me, too. One minute she would follow me around everywhere, and the next she’d walk away to be with another girl, and when I’d try to join the conversation, she’d glare at me. It really hurt my feelings, so I talked it over with my parents. Their advice was to try to continue to be a good friend to her, even if she wasn’t being a good friend to me. My kindness rubbed off on her, and eventually she said she was sorry for being mean. All you have to do is treat others the way you want to be treated.
-November, age 12, Texas If she is mean to you again, take a break from your friendship by distancing yourself from her. You don’t have to be mean to her. Say hi in the hallway and be friendly, but find different friends to hang around. Who knows? She may eventually come around and want to be friends again.
-Hannah, age 12, Texas Ask her to come over for a sleepover. Maybe she feels hurt because she thinks that you have not been spending enough time together.
-Emma, age 11, Canada If she is making you feel bad about yourself, it might be a good idea to ignore her. You are a wonderful girl, so don’t put your time and energy into trying to make your friendship better if she isn’t going to do the same.
-Makenna, age 12, Colorado You really should talk to her. She might not even be aware that she is being mean to you.
-Emma, age 10, Arizona My best friend suddenly started being mean to me, too. I put up with it for a while, but then I thought to myself, Is this friendship really worth it? How does this friendship make me a better person? If you’re not happy being friends with this girl, there’s nothing saying that you have to be friends. Now that I am not in contact with that girl anymore, I have more time to hang out with friends who are nice to me.
-Carolyn, age 12, Virginia Remember, a real friend does not turn her friendship on and off like a lightbulb.
-Dominique, age 9, North Carolina You may have to accept the fact that this girl might not want to be friends anymore. It can be heartbreaking, but think of it this way—you’re better off not having a friend who hurts your feelings.
-Mary, age 12, Texas If you take a break from each other, do not ignore her or talk behind her back. That way, you can leave the door open to becoming friends again.
-Sandy, age 11, Texas Try to keep your distance from her for a while and build stronger friendships with your other friends.
-Mary, age 12, Minnesota You and your friend might not be as close as you were a few years ago, but you can still be friends, even if you’re not “best” friends.
-Bria, age 13, Iowa If you talk to your friend about this, you can tell her, “You are my best friend, but sometimes, my feelings get hurt when you’re mean to me. I don’t like the way I’ve been treated lately, but I would really like to continue to be friends. Can we try to work everything out?”
-Aubrey, age 12, California If your friend disrespects you, you should say to her in a firm voice, “Stop—that hurts my feelings.” Then walk away. She needs to know that you’re serious and that you are standing up for yourself.
-Sammi, age 10, New York This girl is not a good friend. She may be nice to you sometimes, but that does not make up for the times she is mean to you.
-Anna, age 11, Massachusetts The same thing has happened to me. After my friend had been disrespecting me, I gave her about a week to cool down. After that, I asked her if she wanted to continue to be friends. She said that she was sad during the week without me and wanted to be friends. We’re best friends to this day. This may work for you, too.
-Kristen, age 12, North Carolina Make two lists—a list of reasons why you want to continue to be friends with her and a list of reasons why you do not want to be friends with her. Then compare the lists. If one list has more reasons than the other, you’ll know which decision you should make.
-Lily, age 9, Arizona Unfortunately, people change over time—sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. In your case, I'd say that there might be a chance your friend is outgrowing you or you’re outgrowing her. It can be hard to let go of someone whom you’ve known for so long, but sometimes letting go is for the better. You could always try talking to your friend and help her see your point of view. If that doesn’t work, consider letting her go and find a new friend.
-Hannah, age 13, Maryland |
